Okay, I'm shouting it from the rooftops:
There are only two comic strips I have ever truly enjoyed on a consistent basis: Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson, and Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller. After Watterson retired, Non Sequitur became the only good reason to turn to the comics page. Other strips might occasionally warrant a chuckle, or a brief time stuck to the fridge; but Non Sequitur nearly always did. The only times it didn't were when the fridge was already overloaded and I wasn't ready to let the displayed ones go yet. Whether it was animal predators acting as business folk (and using their carnivorous natures in a manner that seems oddly appropriate to today's corporate world), the adventures of Danae (notice what her name rhymes with?) and her family (including, oddly enough, a horse), the whoppers of Eddie the Yankee fisherman (whose cat always rides on his shoulder as he sails his boat, the Anoesis--which means, according to the Urban Dictionary, an emotional response to something without understanding it), or all the cute cats and dogs (you can tell Wiley knows both, because he draws them in such realistic postures--my personal fave in that genre [still on the fridge!] is titled "The most ergonomic laptop for stress reduction", featuring a man relaxing in an armchair with both his cat and his dog peacefully sleeping on his lap...get it?), this strip just doesn't quit.
Unfortunately, it's now in danger, because Wiley goofed up.
About a month and a half ago, the Sunday Non Sequitur was a black-and-white "coloring page" featuring anthropomorphic ursines of the "Bearnaissance." Fine so far...but in one of the sketches, depicting invention diagrams and notes by "Leonardo Bearvinci," one of the notes, waaay down in the corner, was a scribbled suggestion that a certain current President should go and engage in reflexive sexual intercourse.
I'll wait while you work that one out...and then tell you that no, Wiley didn't say "fudge."
When I first heard about this controversy, I went back through my old Sunday comic pages to see if I'd bought that paper. Turns out I had; but I'd been so impatient for the resumption of a continuing storyline called "Nebbish" (about a mute simpleton around whom miracles happen, and who is being exploited by an evil duke who wants to take over the world), that I'd simply looked at the coloring page and dismissed it. But now, I took off my glasses and peered very closely at each panel...and sure enough, it was there, though barely readable.
Now, before you go collapse on your fainting couch, or tsk-tsk about how horrible it is that someone would drop the F-bomb into a comics page where children could see it, let's step away from our own anoesis and get some perspective.
Wiley says it was a scribble written only for himself, which he intended to white out later but forgot.
I actually believe this to be true, for two reasons. The first is that these strips are drawn quite a while in advance; if Wiley follows a process similar to Watterson's, he was working on the "Bearnaissance" strip at least a couple of weeks--maybe even a month--before it was published, along with the six daily strips sandwiched between Sunday strips. Erasing a scribble dashed off in a moment of irritation could easily get lost in the shuffle. Which brings me to the second reason: the government shutdown was in full swing when that strip was drawn, and the awfulness of the situation--that a mean clown-President with orange cotton candy on his head could throw a veto-powered hissy fit because Congress thought six billion dollars had better uses than building a border wall--would have tried the considerable patience of St. Teresa of Calcutta (you probably still know her as Mother Teresa). I'd have needed to vent, myself; and I might very well have forgotten to use that correction-fluid pen, too.
Besides all this, how did Wiley's syndicate editor not catch that scribble before it ever went out? If a sharp-eyed reader could do it, a paid editor surely should have; if he/she had, there would have been a supersonic e-mail sent--"Hey Wiley, what's with this strip? You can't put this in the Sunday funnies!" "Oh, shit, did I forget to erase that? Thanks for the save, Ed!"
But alas, 'twas not to be.
And then, Wiley goofed again.
After the strip ran, and angry readers began contacting their papers, he tried to pass the scribble off as an intentional "Easter egg," thinking that might solve the problem. Instead, it made things worse, and his apology for the mistake rang hollow with newspaper editors and layout folk, who were not amused.
And papers began to cancel Non Sequitur.
Interesting thing here...
I was scrolling through a list of these cancellations, and many of them sounded nearly the same, if not exactly so: that it wasn't the insult to Trump, it was the F-word that tipped the scales. This smacks more of a corporate party line than a decision by individual newspaper editors. Given that only a handful of super-rich moguls own nearly all our country's newspapers, the odds are in favor of my conclusion.
"But, Lisa, you can't have the Queen Mother of Dirty Words in a Sunday comic."
Yeah, but...the man has been writing and drawing this strip since 1992. Nearly 10,000 strips later, he makes one mistake--two, counting his CYA maneuver. Was it stupid? Yep. Immature? I agree. Worth ruining his livelihood? Sorry, no. Especially since his own editors were asleep at the wheel, too, and if Wiley needs firing, so does his entire syndicate--sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander, right?
So what now?
If your local newspaper was one of the ones that cancelled Non Sequitur (mine was), and if you love this comic as much as I do (or at least believe in freedom of expression and giving folks a second chance), there are a few things you can do.
One is call or write your paper. Get all your friends to do it, too. Tell the folks on the other end that you want Non Sequitur back. If you subscribe, tell them you'll cancel if they don't restore it; if you don't subscribe, tell them you'll stop buying copies. Given how expensive a newspaper is these days, that might be an easy breakaway.
Another thing is, follow the strip on gocomics.com. It's an awesome site, and setting up a free account is easy.
Also, find a paper that hasn't cancelled Non Sequitur and subscribe. This is a good option if you're like me and prefer a physical newspaper. If said paper is far away, however, you will probably have to pay extra for shipping, plus you'll get the news a couple days late. On the plus side, you'll get a broader perspective on the state of the nation!
Finally, write a supportive e-mail. Wiley Miller's e-mail address is wileyink@earthlink.net.
In closing...
I've spent a lot of time on this issue, haven't I?
But I wouldn't have done so if I didn't believe that Wiley's comic is a real treasure that we should fight to preserve. If a few fat cats who own a bunch of papers can dictate what comic strips we see and cancel the ones they don't like over some flapette du jour, and if we just let them do it, then we're actually aiding and abetting censorship.
And I won't do that.
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Sunday, March 3, 2019
Fun With Crazy Stupid Cold!
According to my calendar, it's March 3rd. But according to my thermometer, it's more like mid-January. And we just had another six inches of snow dumped on us, just when the last of the dirty drifts from February's snow/ice extravaganza had finally melted off!
I note these things because this sort of situation used to happen every year when I was a kid, although the earliest cold snap usually happened around Thanksgiving, we almost always had snow by Christmas, and the final melt was over by mid-March. But the last time we had this much snow in recent memory was a few years back, when we got several rounds of 3-4 inches, including a surprise winter storm in early May. That year was so cold, I literally had to run the heat for half an hour to get the house hot enough for the inspector to properly test my AC...and that was in mid-May.
However, the weather has become wildly unpredictable; it might be what I consider a "normal winter" one year, with the temps being brrr-cold and appropriate precipitation falling...and the next, we might have light-jacket weather in December and tornado warnings in February (been there more than once). Summers are worse: the temps might be moderate, with so much rain that basements all over the state leak...or it could be like 2012, when we would have welcomed even a rip-roaring severe storm if only it would save the grass from crunching under our feet, and when the only flowers that thrived were the blue chicory growing along the highways. (That year, I watered my foundations so much, I was surprised the house didn't grow another story higher.)
But right now, the temperature is falling to an expected overnight low of a handful of degrees above zero, and tomorrow won't even reach 10 above. In other words, it's freakin' cold.
I mention all this because I've been a pedestrian all my life, and I know how to dress for whatever weather is out there. It's all common sense. Yet all around me, I see evidence that the general population is growing steadily wimpier. For example: hardly anybody shovels their sidewalks anymore. Even most of the businesses on my shank's-mare commute to work don't do it. Don't ask me why. I do mine whenever we get more than an inch of snow, just in case somebody might want to walk somewhere besides out in the road...but that, you see, is the other thing: people don't walk anymore to get places. Why would they, when they can drive? And those same businesses who won't shovel their sidewalks always plow out their parking lots. But hey, y'all--I notice which businesses don't do their sidewalks, and I choose where to shop accordingly. Because if they don't care how hard it is for me to walk past their building, then they don't want my money very badly, do they?
And then there's the fact that everything seems to shut down when it gets into the single digits. The list of churches that decided to cancel their evening services tonight was disheartening. I mean, there wasn't even any ice! And the parking lots, at least, would be plowed out, right? I mean, come on!!!
I get asked a lot why I walk all the time. Why I don't get a car. And don't I know I could get frostbite? Well...maybe. But if you're acclimated, the cold doesn't affect you like it does most of the hothouse flowers around you--the people who leave a heated house to get into a heated car (thanks to new technology, you can point a little remote and start that car from inside the house) and drive to a heated workplace. In fact, if you get out and walk in the extreme cold, you actually reap some health benefits. Like, fresher air...and when you're out while it's snowing, there's a clean crispness to the air that nobody has ever succeeded in imitating or bottling for sale. And you catch fewer colds, because you're not breathing the same indoor air as all your sick colleagues...or at least, not as much. Oh, and walking through a few inches of powdery snow is a lot like using an elliptical trainer at the gym!
So, yeah, that's why. Want to brave the elements yourself? Here's some common-sense advice:
1) Layer Up. A few light layers will warm you better than one big, heavy coat, and will give you better freedom of movement. And be sure you cover your head accordingly--you lose a lot of your body heat upward. Wear breathable inner layers so you don't get sweaty (and then feel clammy), and tough, insulated outer layers to keep the heat in. Wear a scarf around your neck and a hat that covers your ears, and if you have a hood on your outer layer, pull it up and cinch it tight. My fave head/neck hack is to wear an under layer with the hood pulled up, then a long scarf wrapped over my head, then around my neck (like in Fiddler on the Roof--in fact, that's where I got the idea!), then outer hood up and tight over it all.
And thermal underwear is your friend, especially during the deep-freeze times.
2) Take Time. Let's face it--it's gonna take you longer to get places when you walk, especially if there's snow and ice on the ground. So be prepared to take some extra time. As a general rule, I allow twice as much time on snowy days for my commute as I do on dry days. If you're not sure how long it will take you to get somewhere you need to be, try a "test walk" to the place on a day you don't have to be there, and keep track of your time.
3) Keep Your Balance! About that frozen stuff on the ground...you'll need proper footwear. For ice, there are neat spiked things that stretch right over your shoes (check the size range on the box); for snow, you can either wear plain boots and carry your regular shoes in a bag (an old plastic grocery bag is fine), or you can wear galoshes that fit right over your shoes (that's my usual thing). If you go for the galoshes, try not to walk on the bare ground in them--it will wear them out faster.
4) Carry What You Need. Remember that you won't be able to just dump a bunch of stuff in your car and go. You have to plan for the day, and only carry what you will need. Trust me, unless you have to carry a Crock-Pot to a church potluck, you can probably do it. Invest in a tough, roomy, good-quality messenger bag, and you can practically travel to another city and survive (yes, you can even fit in a change of underwear and some toiletries, and yes, I have done that).
5) Once You're Out There, Look Around! Because there is a lot to see. Pass the same trees every day, and you get to know who lives in them, how close they are to leafing out, and where those broken branches are healing from that wind storm two years back. And you'll see--and hear--the big V's of migrating geese overhead. The first crocuses and daffodils will cheer you up, and I swear, you can smell changes in the weather. Not to mention the new people you'll meet. But watch out for the cars, because they're not always watching out for you!
And that's pretty much it. Hey, maybe I'll see you on the sidewalk sometime...if they shoveled it, that is...
I note these things because this sort of situation used to happen every year when I was a kid, although the earliest cold snap usually happened around Thanksgiving, we almost always had snow by Christmas, and the final melt was over by mid-March. But the last time we had this much snow in recent memory was a few years back, when we got several rounds of 3-4 inches, including a surprise winter storm in early May. That year was so cold, I literally had to run the heat for half an hour to get the house hot enough for the inspector to properly test my AC...and that was in mid-May.
However, the weather has become wildly unpredictable; it might be what I consider a "normal winter" one year, with the temps being brrr-cold and appropriate precipitation falling...and the next, we might have light-jacket weather in December and tornado warnings in February (been there more than once). Summers are worse: the temps might be moderate, with so much rain that basements all over the state leak...or it could be like 2012, when we would have welcomed even a rip-roaring severe storm if only it would save the grass from crunching under our feet, and when the only flowers that thrived were the blue chicory growing along the highways. (That year, I watered my foundations so much, I was surprised the house didn't grow another story higher.)
But right now, the temperature is falling to an expected overnight low of a handful of degrees above zero, and tomorrow won't even reach 10 above. In other words, it's freakin' cold.
I mention all this because I've been a pedestrian all my life, and I know how to dress for whatever weather is out there. It's all common sense. Yet all around me, I see evidence that the general population is growing steadily wimpier. For example: hardly anybody shovels their sidewalks anymore. Even most of the businesses on my shank's-mare commute to work don't do it. Don't ask me why. I do mine whenever we get more than an inch of snow, just in case somebody might want to walk somewhere besides out in the road...but that, you see, is the other thing: people don't walk anymore to get places. Why would they, when they can drive? And those same businesses who won't shovel their sidewalks always plow out their parking lots. But hey, y'all--I notice which businesses don't do their sidewalks, and I choose where to shop accordingly. Because if they don't care how hard it is for me to walk past their building, then they don't want my money very badly, do they?
And then there's the fact that everything seems to shut down when it gets into the single digits. The list of churches that decided to cancel their evening services tonight was disheartening. I mean, there wasn't even any ice! And the parking lots, at least, would be plowed out, right? I mean, come on!!!
I get asked a lot why I walk all the time. Why I don't get a car. And don't I know I could get frostbite? Well...maybe. But if you're acclimated, the cold doesn't affect you like it does most of the hothouse flowers around you--the people who leave a heated house to get into a heated car (thanks to new technology, you can point a little remote and start that car from inside the house) and drive to a heated workplace. In fact, if you get out and walk in the extreme cold, you actually reap some health benefits. Like, fresher air...and when you're out while it's snowing, there's a clean crispness to the air that nobody has ever succeeded in imitating or bottling for sale. And you catch fewer colds, because you're not breathing the same indoor air as all your sick colleagues...or at least, not as much. Oh, and walking through a few inches of powdery snow is a lot like using an elliptical trainer at the gym!
So, yeah, that's why. Want to brave the elements yourself? Here's some common-sense advice:
1) Layer Up. A few light layers will warm you better than one big, heavy coat, and will give you better freedom of movement. And be sure you cover your head accordingly--you lose a lot of your body heat upward. Wear breathable inner layers so you don't get sweaty (and then feel clammy), and tough, insulated outer layers to keep the heat in. Wear a scarf around your neck and a hat that covers your ears, and if you have a hood on your outer layer, pull it up and cinch it tight. My fave head/neck hack is to wear an under layer with the hood pulled up, then a long scarf wrapped over my head, then around my neck (like in Fiddler on the Roof--in fact, that's where I got the idea!), then outer hood up and tight over it all.
And thermal underwear is your friend, especially during the deep-freeze times.
2) Take Time. Let's face it--it's gonna take you longer to get places when you walk, especially if there's snow and ice on the ground. So be prepared to take some extra time. As a general rule, I allow twice as much time on snowy days for my commute as I do on dry days. If you're not sure how long it will take you to get somewhere you need to be, try a "test walk" to the place on a day you don't have to be there, and keep track of your time.
3) Keep Your Balance! About that frozen stuff on the ground...you'll need proper footwear. For ice, there are neat spiked things that stretch right over your shoes (check the size range on the box); for snow, you can either wear plain boots and carry your regular shoes in a bag (an old plastic grocery bag is fine), or you can wear galoshes that fit right over your shoes (that's my usual thing). If you go for the galoshes, try not to walk on the bare ground in them--it will wear them out faster.
4) Carry What You Need. Remember that you won't be able to just dump a bunch of stuff in your car and go. You have to plan for the day, and only carry what you will need. Trust me, unless you have to carry a Crock-Pot to a church potluck, you can probably do it. Invest in a tough, roomy, good-quality messenger bag, and you can practically travel to another city and survive (yes, you can even fit in a change of underwear and some toiletries, and yes, I have done that).
5) Once You're Out There, Look Around! Because there is a lot to see. Pass the same trees every day, and you get to know who lives in them, how close they are to leafing out, and where those broken branches are healing from that wind storm two years back. And you'll see--and hear--the big V's of migrating geese overhead. The first crocuses and daffodils will cheer you up, and I swear, you can smell changes in the weather. Not to mention the new people you'll meet. But watch out for the cars, because they're not always watching out for you!
And that's pretty much it. Hey, maybe I'll see you on the sidewalk sometime...if they shoveled it, that is...
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